Comments (8)

By Real Dad, June 27, 2010 8:39 pm

We are only 2 weeks away from the new arrival to our family and we have finally begun to act like a baby is on its way. The last few days have been busy and actually included some preparation for the baby. I washed a stroller that has basically been sitting in a garage for 6 years. This stroller was given to us when Nicky was born and was only used for him because we purchased a tandem stroller when Jordan was born. The tandem stroller came in handy again 1 year later when Corey was born (yeah yeah I know). I also washed 2 Pack-N-Plays, 1 is ours (one of the few things I didn’t throw away after Corey was born) and the other was given to us. We are keeping the 1 in better condition. Now we just have to start washing all of the baby clothes that were given to us. Not that we don’t trust that they were washed before they were given to us but you would wash them too, even if it were family that gave them to you (sorry everyone).

The wife has also been trying to get our kids to be a little more independent. You see, the wife has had a little issue with doing too much for the kids and with the kids. By this I mean she is the one that cleans the mess in their rooms or any room for that matter, after they are done playing. She will pick up the kids clothes after they throw them on the floor. She will cater to every whim and just spoil them rotten. She also spends almost every moment of the day

So proud the she made her bed

with them, occupying them rather than letting them occupy themselves. I am not saying that as parents we shouldn’t do anything other then this but I think that kids should be taught responsibility and a little independence and at an early age. I think she now sees that her life at home will be easier if she makes it easier rather than more difficult. If you want to find out how I would do it just ready my post entitled Introducing #4. I still am trying to figure a way to do everything I said! Anyway, I see the difference in the kids and they are actually starting to respect each other and their belongings. This has also been an issue but I will save that for a future post.

I actually had to stop writing several times as we made our 3^rd attempt at letting Jordan sleep in the boy’s room as a special treat. The first attempt didn’t go well

Just a goofball

so we broke up the party. Attempt #2 faired a little better and we didn’t separate them but tonight they just got out of hand so I just sent Jordan to her own room.

The wife is hoping not to go early or at least before July 4^th. She wants to make one last trip to visit her family before the

I didn't document the bed but I got this!

new one arrives. As of the last visit to the doctor, she isn’t dilated so he will check her again later this week. If she is dilated, he will recommend that we don’t make the small road trip. I mean after all, since this is #4, I expect labor to be short and for this baby to just pop out like a fart. Maybe that is just wishful thinking because I never heard the wife fart (in her sleep doesn’t count).

Ok I am off to eat the cherry pie I just baked. That is right….I made cherry pie since my friend couldn’t make it to a bar for a few beers with me. I also cooked dinner. Pretty big disparity there but I don’t give a shit. I was listening to Slipknot while I did both so it cancels out!

Comments (5)

By Real Dad, May 17, 2010 10:11 pm

I really don’t have anything to write about. It’s been an extremely busy past few weeks. I have worked the last 2 out of 3 Saturdays and the one weekend I didn’t work was the weekend of Soccer, Shootings, A Carnival, A Birthday Party and Mother’s Day. It had gotten to the point in which my back yard had grass that was 8”+ high and my car hasn’t been washed in months. I have been saying for 3 weeks that I would clean-up the yard and wash my car but I couldn’t seem to put aside the 2-3 hours for each of those chores.

Luckily I was able to get the yard done this weekend. A little was done on Saturday after work and I finished the rest

This would be awesome!!

Sunday morning. After finishing the yard, the entire family packed in the mini-van and made a quick trip to the store to pick up supplies for my son’s school project. I am not sure what he will use it for but he has to make one of those yellow smiley faces attached to a small wooden handle. I am not sure how you feel about it but to me the yellow smiley face represents tripping on acid. I do not know why I think that but I do. A bunch of first grade kids walking around with these smiling yellow faces would just freak me out….even not being on acid.

The wife is 7 months along now and she is having the not so bad days and some pretty shitty days. Lately the baby is throwing fits in there. Her stomach contorts, becomes rock hard and looks freaky. She has also been experiencing some nerve pain which she did with the last one. She gets these pains that shoot up her neck and/or from her ear to her lip or her neck to her ear than up into her head. She has talked to the Doctor about it and he of course said that there isn’t much that can be done so she has to grin and take it.

I am still not sure how we are going to pull off raising 4 kids. Financially we are struggling (in the red for the first time ever) and things aren’t getting any easier. Thankfully we have great family and we are getting all of the hand-me-downs they own. I guess that is what we get for donating ALL of the infant crap we had after the lil one was born. We have also been getting a package or two of diapers every few weeks from my mother-in-law, so that is good. Since we know we are having another boy, I have been hoping that the wife gives birth to an 18 year old that wants to go straight into the military. Paid housing, clothing and healthcare all in one shot AND I will be a proud Daddy that can say my newborn is doing something honorable.

Seriously, I recall shopping with the wife before we had our first. We planned and starting buying things months in advance. I actually researched different bottles and what made them different from each other. We wouldn’t take a single item from family that was a hand-me-down because our kid deserved everything new. We used fancy diaper creams, a Diaper Genie, a wipes warmer, researched toys, baby-proofed our home and watched over him like hawks.

Yeah...like he is getting this stuff!

Now, we have a bunch of bottles given to us that we haven’t even looked at yet. Why? Because it doesn’t matter, they are bottles. We have no toys or any other baby related item except what has been given to us. We do not even have a room to put him so he will be shacking up with us in our room. Ohh..no crib so a Pack-N-Play will have to do just as it did with the lil one. Shit….we don’t have that either….I gave that away too!

Comments (11)

By Real Dad, April 21, 2010 9:56 pm

I felt it time to do my first review. I toiled long and hard over what to review and fatherhood was the only thing I could come up with. Fatherhood may not be something I am good at but I have a lot of experience with 3 kids and 1 on the way. I affectionately refer to the number of kids as 3.7 as my wife is due in July.

Fatherhood began for me a little over 7 years ago when my wife told me she was pregnant. I was very excited and a little nervous while my wife as very nervous and a little excited. I made it a point to be at every doctor visit and I mean every visit! I thought it would be amazing and wonderful to have a little me or little wife running around. When delivery day came, I was nervous as could be and my wife’s labor and delivery was brutal. I think it totaled 25 hours or so. I should have known then what was in my future!

I found fatherhood to consist of the following:

• Your life is no longer your own
• Your life will never be the same
• Cleaning the dirty ass of another human being
• Getting baby shit under your fingernails
• Getting pissed on
• Talking like an idiot to a baby that doesn’t understand you regardless of how you talk
• Making a multitude of additional trips to the store for various baby items
• Being amazed at every “first” of your new baby
• Bragging to anyone that makes believe they are listening about how amazing your son is
• Getting the daily run-down from your wife when you get home from work
• Always worrying if your baby farts and shits regularly (yes it’s a Daddy thing)
• Wondering where your wife went
• Remembering  the days of constant sex
• Daydreaming of the day you may have sex again
• Trying to figure out why the baby is crying
• Running to the hospital when your son tumbles down 13 stairs (hey it only happened once)
• Not going out with the wife and/or friends like you used to
• Having another kid
• Thinking “What the hell is wrong with us?”
• Not being as excited about the “firsts” as you were for the first
• Feeding and clothing another person
• Thinking “I hope my wife leaves me alone today”
• Saying the diapers can be re-used because you don’t want to run to the store
• Asking if the kids really require food
• Watching the savings account you complied for a house dwindle away
• Not going out without at least one kid on your hip except to work
• Not immediately running to the crying 2^nd child as you did the first
• Watching the medical bills pile up
• Getting sick when prior to kids you weren’t sick for over 10 years
• Another friggin kid!
• Not caring if the kid farts or shits regularly
• What? Are there kids crying somewhere???
• Food….there better be enough for me
• Saying: “Damn, I am sorry babe but I have to work late”
• Telling the wife: “I know he is only 3 weeks old but he can feed himself if we teach him”
• Figuring out which kid doesn’t get attention today?
• Asking: “Do they really have to go to the doctor?”
• Hoping the kids doesn’t walk as it is one less thing to worry about
• Praying that the kid doesn’t talk as there is more than enough noise in the house
• Looking for the money you HAD in the savings account last year
• Having a wife that is losing her mind after being trapped in a small apartment with 3 little kids all day
• Sending your 2 oldest (which are only 6 and 4) to a private school because the public schools here blow
• Wondering how are we sending these kids to private school when we have NO MONEY
• Knowing the 3^rd kid will not go to private school
• Hoping the wife doesn’t talk to me
• Hoping the kids forget that I am their father
• ANOTHER FRIGGIN KID IS ON THE WAY????????!!!!!!????

HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That my friends…..is FATHERHOOD!

…….and I wouldn’t change a friggin thing!

I love them with all of my heart!

Comments (7)

By Real Dad, February 13, 2010 10:57 pm

Ok blog, I apologize as I have truly neglected you for some time now. Things have been really crazy lately. Between home and work, I don’t know if I am coming or going and of course my house has once again been a cesspool of germs and other such things. Shit… since I wrote “Fatherhood Means Someone is Always Sick” my kids and wife have been sick, twice. First it was the stomach flu with puking for 3 or 4 days then it was severe colds followed by an ear infection (I think) and now a possible urinary tract infection in the mix. I have also been working long days including my travel, I have been out of the house an average of 12 hours per day. So as you can see I have my hands full.

There it goes!

The wife’s pregnancy is going well, I think. We really do not talk about it much. We both know she is pregnant and due in July so what is the point? We just paid the $2000.00 deductible so that my wife can deliver the baby with the help of a doctor and in the hospital rather than in my back yard with me, a set of salad tongs, a blind-fold and a garden hose.  Seriously, why is my 401K important for our retirement when I need to draw on it to pay for my kids now? Never-mind the $490 dental bill for the kids…that’s right $490! My wife figured the kids all needed the special fluoride treatments not covered by our dental insurance. I know the teeth they currently have will all fall out of their skulls but possessing strong teeth is so important (you know if I had my way I would have told the dentist to scratch my balls rather than give my kids fluoride treatments) but the wife handles those matters. You know my thoughts on money as I told you when I wrote “A Father and Husband in a Bad Economy”. We also talked of her pumping breast milk rather than buying formula this time around. I don’t like the thought of a machine or another person albeit my child, latching onto my wife but we have to do what we have to do. If this kid turns out to be smarter and healthier than the others, I will be pissed!

As you can see blog, I have a lot on my mind. I don’t know if I am coming or going. We also have to move but I don’t have the energy or the motivation to begin that process. Since the schools around here suck, we send our kids to private school. No, we cannot afford a private school but it is far better than the public school option in this town. Once I get motivated, I will begin to look for a place to live that is closer to my job but it must have a good public school system. Don’t you fret blog as everyone keeps saying it will work-out one day soon. I am still waiting as I have heard that before.

I guess I am done for now as I have thoroughly pleaded my case. You are truly a bright spot in which I like to visit and share my thoughts but times have been tough. After all, you are just another thing that needs attention and nurturing and I have been tapped out lately. I do promise to pay more attention and to try to post more often. However if I don’t…….KISS MY ASS! This is my blog therefore my rules!

My Blog - My Rules!

Comments (8)

By Real Dad, October 5, 2009 9:56 pm

Marriage means many different things to many different people. Most of these things are indeed great but some of

Me after marriage

them….well not so great. Over the last few days, I have realized that any measurable quantity of machismo I once possessed has been lost. I have never been known as the typical “Guy’s Guy” but never really a sissy-la-la either; I usually ranked somewhere in between. Over the weekend I had some things happen that made me realize that marriage is slowly decaying my minimal machismo level. Here are some of the examples I thought of:

• When my wife inferred that my haircut does not look good on my fat head, I did not say go f***yourself and throw an upper-cut
• When my potty training 3 year old bent over in front of me and said “Daddy look at my butt” and spread his little ass cheeks apart I didn’t kick him straight in his ass
• I am constantly cleaning pee from the toilet and floor when just a mere 10 years ago I would piss on the bowl, floor,wall and anything else within a 5 ft radius of the toilet in a drunken stupor then say “screw it!” and walk away
• I have played with dolls, a toy kitchen set, a toy cosmetic bust along with many other girly things and I am not ashamed to admit it
• I have cried in front of my wife and did not say “If you tell anyone about this I will KILL you”
• I was hurt when my 4 year old daughter told me she didn’t like me
• I have expressed to my wife on many occasions that something hurt
• I admitted to my wife that I did not know how to do something
• I said…….”I do”

As you can clearly tell, marriage changes a man. However I must say that I wouldn’t change it for anything!……..

Pssst…the wife may read this so I had to throw that in. See…again…machismo lost!

Comments (2)

By Real Dad, September 28, 2009 10:26 pm

Yes, the title says it all: FATHERHOOD MEANS POOP ON THE FLOOR!

The wife and I have been delaying our potty training of Corey until the other kids went off to school and so far Corey has been great. It has been about 2 weeks now and he has had minimal accidents which surprises me because he hasn’t shown any interest in using the toilet previously.

Yesterday afternoon was actually lazy time since Nicky was off to camp (that is what we tell Jordan and Corey when Nicky goes with his grandfather to Long Island to visit family) and the other 2 were taking a nap. I was going to try to take a nap myself but decided on watching some football in peace. Corey woke up only after sleeping for 1.5 hours and Jordan woke up soon after. Meanwhile, Carrie is passed out and I am stuck with a totally nude potty training 3 year old and a 4 year old. Yes I said totally nude because when we put pants on him he just pisses in them! So anyway, he immediately tells me that he has to do pee-pee so I whisk him off the the toilet. He does more then pee so I am happy because I am always concerned with my kids bowel movements, or as they say in Nicky’s school BM (what every happened to SHIT?). Fatherhood created a deep concern for the frequency and consistency of my kid’s BM’s (couldn’t resist myself), I don’t know why but it just did….. OK! I proceeded to clean his little butt and resumed my football watching position on the couch. Within seconds Corey tells me that he has to go pee-pee again. So I hoist my fat-ass off of the couch and back to the bathroom. He sits on the seat and immediately says that he is all done. I return to the couch and as soon as I lay down he says it again. Same story….nothing. We do this 2 0r 3 more times within the next few minutes with no results.

Alright, so now I am majorly annoyed. Carrie is still napping and I am trying to watch football with 2 small kids….1 of them nude yelling “I have to go pee-pee!” every 60 seconds. I sit down this time, in anticipation of having to get up again and I look over to see Corey’s face red and straining. You know that look, the look you would expect if a bowling ball was passing through your colon. He says to me in a raspy I am straining type voice “Dad-dy, I – have – to – DO – pooooppy….uuuhhhh”. I jumped up as if Megan Fox were naked at my door only to see a turd hit my living room floor!  I yelled  “Corey, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” and he simply replied – “Going poop Daddy”. I could not argue that. Before I could grab him and carry him to the bowl a junior turd dropped. What the hell? Needless to say I had to now wake up the wife. I had enough. We cleaned up the 2 turds and his ass to laugh hysterically. Although I was annoyed I was also extremely amused. Sick huh?

Fatherhood has meant a great many things to me over the past 6 year but I never expected that it also means poop on my carpet! How can a kid this cute just drop a DEUCE on my carpet?I don’t know but he only gets this one pass!

The Deuce Dropper!

Comments (8)

By Real Dad, September 24, 2009 9:55 pm

I don’t know what made me think of this but all day I was wondering “when did parents become pansies?”.  By this I mean, when did parenting become what it is today? Parents now worry about things unthinkable when we (parents born in the 70′s or before) were babies, toddlers and little kids. This is not to say that many of things we do as parents today are not beneficial to our kids health both mentally and physically but are we going over-board?

While raising us (I have 2 brothers) my parents:

• Had only 2 types of bottle nipples – beige for formula and blue for water
• Used a safety pin to poke holes into the blue water nipple to make it a formula nipple
• Maybe sterilized the bottles and nipples before they used them (for the 1st time only) with my older brother but most certainly did not with me and my younger brother
• Used a cold cloth to wipe our asses
• Smoked around us at all times
• Gave us regular baby food
• Did not play Beethoven to us while we were in the womb
• Did not surround us with black, red and white objects
• Did not have infant flash cards with funny shapes and designs
• Did not HAVE CAR SEATS (glad we have them now but it wasn’t a concern 25+ years ago)
• Let us roam around the back of the station wagon and hang out of the window as long as we didn’t bother them
• Whacked us (well the older brother and me… not such my younger brother) on the ass when we DESERVED it
• Put soap in our mouths when we spoke inappropriately and when I clinched my teeth shut my father used liquid dish soap
• Did not explain why they said no – NO JUST MEANT NO
• Let us play with toy guns
• Let us watch cartoons in which the cat hits the mouse on the head with a hammer or the roadrunner blows up the coyote (today’s cartoons do not hold a match to the old cartoons!)
• Instructed us to play baseball or football in the street
• Did not have a chart on the wall explaining the events of the day
• Told us to shut up when they were on the phone or talking to other adults
• Made us eat what they cooked  and if we didn’t like it, we didn’t eat
• Gave us white bread with PEANUT BUTTER on it (not knocking allergies as they are serious but these types of allergies were relatively non-existent when we were kids)
• Laughed when I got caught looking up my teacher’s skirt in the 1st grade
• Yelled at me all of the time
• Rubbed whiskey on our gums when we were teething
• Let us have a sip of beer
• Let us watch hours of television
• Told us to punch back harder if someone punched us

Now I  must admit that Carrie and I would not do some of the things listed above and we DID play Beethoven to Nicky while he was in the womb (1x only). Growing up I did not know one child with autism, a learning disability, a personality disorder or anything of the like. Again, I am not negating the seriousness of these issues, as they are real and horrible diseases/disorders to deal with (read my post “Fatherhood’s Perfect Dream and Nightmare“). Were these medical conditions just not diagnosed when we were kids or did they not exist? Are these problems created by the immunizations we let doctors give or kids, the sonograms women have while pregnant or the food we feed or children? I don’t have the answers but we all know that the amount of cases of these diseases/disorders in children is on the rise and we do not have an answer. This just made me think of the differences regarding how we parent our children and how our parents raised us. Just some food for thought!

How did I become a pansy? I don’t know!

Comments (0)

By Real Dad, September 18, 2009 10:19 pm

Last week my wife came home after spending a weekend with the kids at a relative’s house and once the kids went to bed, she announced a revelation of sorts to me. She told me that she felt that she was too easy on the kids and that I have become numb to the point in which I do not react (meaning be a parent). This came after she realized that the kids get away with far too much misbehaving, including not listening to either of us and acting out of control. I am not sure of exactly what brought this major change about but I was not going to question why she felt this way, as this is the way I have felt for some time!

So we began the following:

• None of the kids are allowed to leave the kitchen table until all of us have eaten
• Once we put them down to bed, they are not allowed to come out of their rooms or talk to each other from the doorway
• They get one warning and if they continue the inappropriate behavior we send them to a long time out (longer than the 1 min per year of age rule she has followed for the last 3 years or so)
• If they break the rules we set forth they do not get their desert, cannot watch television (we have certain times of the day in which we allow them to watch a show or two), they do not get to play with their favorite toy or other such suitable type punishment for the crime
  

  All for One and One for All!

I know that these are things that may sound automatic to most or at least some parents but Carrie and I have had a fundamental difference in our parenting techniques. If it were my way it would be something like this:

• When I say no I mean NO and for the most part they do not deserve a reason. On some occasions a reason may be warranted but it is age and instance specific
• Not everything in our house is for them to play with
• I do not have to spend every minute in the presence of the kids when I am home
• Rules and boundaries have to be established early
• The kids must put the current toy away before taking out another toy

Her way would be something like this:

• No is not something that should be said often and kids often need to be given a reason so that they comprehend why you may say no
• It is not a big deal to let the kids play with something if it is not going to hurt them or others
• Being a parent means spending as much time as you can with them when they are young and want your attention because one day they will not want it
• A house with kids is supposed to have toys all over
• Rules and boundaries have to be loose and can be changed on a case by case basis

As you can imagine, Carrie thinks that I am too strict and I think she is too easy. Over time we have let our house become a zoo. The kids don’t listen, run around like maniacs and do not respect property or material items. Now let it be known that Nicky, Jordan-Rose and Corey are great kids. They are sweet, friendly (most of the time) and have great manners. What has been allowed to happen in our home is equally our fault, from a parenting perspective. We let many things get in the way and we choose the easier way to deal with things which was to not deal with them at all, in most cases.

Carrie is in a tough situation and I respect her and love her dearly for what she goes through on a daily basis. She is home alone for 10-12 hours with 3 small children while I work. By the time I come home from work, the kids are either just getting ready for bed or already in bed. The majority of the parenting lies on her however we are their parents equally. Carrie has made some changes to her parenting technique and the benefits are already showing in the kid’s behavior. It also helps that Nicky is at school all day and Jordan-Rose attends Pre-K 3x per week for 3 hours each time. Bedtime is much less hectic and once they go to bed, they have been staying there and she has been telling me that dinner is much calmer and becoming a pleasure rather than a chore.

Now I have to work on being a little less uptight and more involved in the daily lives of my family. How I will accomplish this is the dilemma since my job requires a lot of my time. I guess for now, I will follow my wife’s lead as I clearly see a difference in the kids just after one week!

Comments (0)

By Real Dad, September 10, 2009 10:23 pm

Fatherhood has screwed up so many of my plans for life and I can deal with it for the most part BUT Sunday is football day! I remember a time when I would wake up, maybe get out of bed, maybe even shower and then spend the day watching football, uninterrupted. There were times when I would even meet my buddies at the local bar, drink a lot of beer, eat a ton of appetizers and watch multiple games on multiple televisions while some hot young waitress asked me if I needed a refill for my Sam Adams pitcher. What happened?

Where did my FOOTBALL SUNDAYS go?

Oh yeah, FAHTERHOOD happened! Now I must admit that Nicky is a huge football fan at the tender age of 6 but he does lose interest by half-time then becomes annoying.  Jordy and Corey are just annoying and of course Carrie launches a preemptive strike on Saturday by saying “I am not spending the day watching football tomorrow”, without fail. Now I am not a fan that can recite stats or tell you the schedule for every team in the league but I just believe that Sunday is a day of football along with a big macaroni dinner! There is hope for me this Sunday! My wife will be taking the kids away for the weekend to attend her cousin’s baby’s christening while I stay home to “lay down a new kitchen floor”. YOU CAN BET  YOUR ASS that I will do everything I can to finish that floor before 12 noon on Sunday.

Wish me luck….

Comments (6)

By Real Dad, September 8, 2009 10:29 pm

The Face on an Angel but the Mind of...something else!

Jordan-Rose (Jordy) just turned four in May and it has been both GREAT and well….NOT SO GREAT. From the time she was born she was certainly a handful. Soon after birth she was diagnosed with “Acid Reflux”, lucky us. I quickly learned that “Acid Reflux” was a synonym for many words, including pain in the ass! Formula after formula after formula before we found one that she could keep down. In between the crying fits she was a great baby. She laughed, played and giggled a heck of a lot. As Jordy got a little older, Carrie began to become concerned with her lack of sounds and then speech and that is where the difficulties kicked into high gear. I of course was telling my wife that she is over-reacting and that my daughter was fine. You see, Fatherhood began wonderfully with Nicky, so I figured things would turn around with Jordy. WRONG!

Our pediatrician recommended an “Early Intervention” evaluation. After a few home visits by the county specialists, she was diagnosed with Apraxia of Speech or Speech Apraxia (depending on your therapist, doctor or reference material). Basically what this means is this: she has a disorder but they really do not know what causes it, why it happens or what to call it and so on but she was not able to formulate simple sentences although she could say each word individually. We immediately began speech therapy through Early Intervention and they soon realized that she may benefit from some sensory therapy and recommended another evaluation for her sensory issues. She was then diagnosed with Sensory Integration Disorder (she had problems with loud noises, touching of her face or hair and any other type of contact such as snug clothing). We began taking her to a Neurologist in addition to the multiple therapists coming to our home.

After one year of therapy, Early Intervention stopped. Here in NJ they only provide services until the age of three. We had to begin looking for another avenue of therapy that we could afford. We found it at a local college. They have a program in which students work with children as the professor oversees the session. We paid $500 for one month of speech therapy (4 sessions) but it didn’t work out. Jordy was misbehaving so much during the sessions that they were never able to focus on the speech however we noticed that her speech was greatly improved, go figure. We now had to begin the process of having Jordan-Rose qualify for Special Services through our town’s Board of Education. All of those that have gone through this then you understand and those that have not had this experience, I hope you never do. It is a painfully agonizing ordeal. At least in our experience, the way the town handles the parents is a disgrace. The social worker we had was rude, unprofessional and not sympathetic to us at all. The BOE had evaluated our daughter themselves and found no such disorders, as previously diagnosed by several other doctors and therapists. They denied our request for Special Services so we hired a really expensive attorney that specializes in this field. She required a $6000.00 retainer and we paid it without hesitation because this is our daughter. That is when I realized that Fatherhood is the most expensive endeavor I have ever embarked upon

My Jordy!

.

During this ordeal we began to see unbelievable improvements in Jordy’s speech and sensory development, keep in mind that she did not receive therapy for some time but Carrie was working with her everyday. After many heated debates and calm discussions at times, we decided to have Jordy re-evaluated by doctors and therapists at a children’s hospital that has an entire department devoted to children with special needs. In a nutshell, we were told that they did not believe that Apraxia of Speech or Sensory Intergration was an issue. They felt that she was just a “difficult” child…at times. Now Carrie and I have matching spinning heads!! What the hell do we do? We sat back and thought about this, meanwhile our attorney is butting heads with the school on our behalf. We fought the school for a re-evaluation and they denied it. After more legal battling, our attorney was able to get the BOE’s attorney to grant us our request for re-evaluation. They recommended a Neurologist that is supposed to be the best in this part of the state. Our attorney researched this claim and found that this doctor was very highly recommended across the board.  His evaluation was right in line with the children’s hospital, no diagnosis of any disorder. AAAUUUGHHH!

So now we pull the plug with the attorney and receive the remainder of our retainer. We hired a therapist to come to our home and help, not only Jordy but us in dealing with Jordy as well. This continued for several months until we could no longer afford that! So now we are at a point were Jordy has to be enrolled in Pre-K classes. We skipped the 3-year old session and waited for the 4-year old session which she begins next week. Thankfully the teacher and her aide are familiar with my daughter and all of our concerns. She was Nicky’s Pre-K teacher and had many interactions with Jordan, even allowing Jordan to participate in a morning and afternoon class. She assures my wife that things will not be as difficult as we imagine.

Jordan is an remarkably sweet girl with a massive stubborn streak. She can be completely loving  one moment to all of us and then the next moment punching her brother in the back. Tonight I witnessed her having a stare down with my wife. Jordan walked around the kitchen table hitting everyone because we were all talking. When Carrie raised her voice at Jordan asking her to stop, Jordan lowered her eye brows and just stared at her. Carrie starred back, not wanting to break and let Jordy win. After several quiet and tense moments, Carrie broke and yelled at Jordan to leave the kitchen but not before she was to apologize to everyone there. Jordan apologized and stormed out. She later returned to tell Carrie that she is the best Mommy! WOW….I will refrain from my next comment.

We are eager for her to begin school, on many levels. She can use the structure and social interaction (interaction not including her 2 brothers). We learned a lot through this ordeal and respect every parent that has a child with special needs. It is not an easy road but we can say that we are satisfied with the latest diagnoses but how do you really know which is correct when multiple professionals tell you two different things? I guess it comes down to knowing your child. Stick with you gut feeling and if you are not getting what you think your child deserves, keep fighting!  Fatherhood, Motherhood and Parenthood is not about us as fathers or mothers, it is about the children we choose to create.

Do you have a similar story? If you do and would like to share, please do so. Maybe we can all help other parents going through similar situations.