Comments (8)

By Real Dad, June 27, 2010 8:39 pm

We are only 2 weeks away from the new arrival to our family and we have finally begun to act like a baby is on its way. The last few days have been busy and actually included some preparation for the baby. I washed a stroller that has basically been sitting in a garage for 6 years. This stroller was given to us when Nicky was born and was only used for him because we purchased a tandem stroller when Jordan was born. The tandem stroller came in handy again 1 year later when Corey was born (yeah yeah I know). I also washed 2 Pack-N-Plays, 1 is ours (one of the few things I didn’t throw away after Corey was born) and the other was given to us. We are keeping the 1 in better condition. Now we just have to start washing all of the baby clothes that were given to us. Not that we don’t trust that they were washed before they were given to us but you would wash them too, even if it were family that gave them to you (sorry everyone).

The wife has also been trying to get our kids to be a little more independent. You see, the wife has had a little issue with doing too much for the kids and with the kids. By this I mean she is the one that cleans the mess in their rooms or any room for that matter, after they are done playing. She will pick up the kids clothes after they throw them on the floor. She will cater to every whim and just spoil them rotten. She also spends almost every moment of the day

So proud the she made her bed

with them, occupying them rather than letting them occupy themselves. I am not saying that as parents we shouldn’t do anything other then this but I think that kids should be taught responsibility and a little independence and at an early age. I think she now sees that her life at home will be easier if she makes it easier rather than more difficult. If you want to find out how I would do it just ready my post entitled Introducing #4. I still am trying to figure a way to do everything I said! Anyway, I see the difference in the kids and they are actually starting to respect each other and their belongings. This has also been an issue but I will save that for a future post.

I actually had to stop writing several times as we made our 3^rd attempt at letting Jordan sleep in the boy’s room as a special treat. The first attempt didn’t go well

Just a goofball

so we broke up the party. Attempt #2 faired a little better and we didn’t separate them but tonight they just got out of hand so I just sent Jordan to her own room.

The wife is hoping not to go early or at least before July 4^th. She wants to make one last trip to visit her family before the

I didn't document the bed but I got this!

new one arrives. As of the last visit to the doctor, she isn’t dilated so he will check her again later this week. If she is dilated, he will recommend that we don’t make the small road trip. I mean after all, since this is #4, I expect labor to be short and for this baby to just pop out like a fart. Maybe that is just wishful thinking because I never heard the wife fart (in her sleep doesn’t count).

Ok I am off to eat the cherry pie I just baked. That is right….I made cherry pie since my friend couldn’t make it to a bar for a few beers with me. I also cooked dinner. Pretty big disparity there but I don’t give a shit. I was listening to Slipknot while I did both so it cancels out!

Comments (1)

By Real Dad, May 11, 2010 9:53 pm

This weekend was very busy. We, well the wife, had a lot planned. First it was Nicky’s soccer game early Saturday morning then the carnival my wife has been promising the kids we would go to all week, next would be Jordan’s little birthday party and finally Mother’s Day. The kids were really excited about the carnival most of all and I found out about it Thursday night and didn’t stop hearing about it until Saturday.

Doesn't that look fun?

Ok now a little back story on the carnival. When my kids starting talking about the carnival Thursday night, I immediately asked my wife what carnival are they talking about and where is it. She told me where it was and I told her that it probably wasn’t the best place to bring our kids. See where I live isn’t necessarily the “best” place to be. We live on the border of a not so nice town and every town that borders this town isn’t all that nice either.  I grew up in this town and it used to be nice.  I have wanted to get out for a long time but things haven’t worked out the way I planned…anyway…I told my wife that this carnival will probably be filled with kids wearing red, blue or yellow clothing therefore not a place we should bring our kids. For you people that aren’t “street” (I am not street but trying to sound tough) like I am, those are the colors of various gangs. She told me that I am being overly dramatic. Soooo….

Saturday we woke up and left for Nicky’s soccer game at the “Dust Bowl”. He did great again! He ran up and down the field faster than most and scored 2 goals. That’s 4 goals in 3 games for the kid. The game finished just before the lightning and high winds began so that was good. As soon as that was over we ran home to wash up and go to the carnival. The kids were out of their minds. They kept asking about the carnival and were just being so annoying about the whole thing. As we are getting ready to leave my wife tells me that her friend heard something happened at this carnival. When I asked what it was, my wife responded by telling me that there was a shooting. NO SHIT….a shooting. Click here to read the story “Panic at Bloomfield Carnival After Gunshots”.  So I of course say “I told you” but she wasn’t convinced thinking it would different during the day. I am not sure that she believed her friend. So we pack the kids into the mini-van and head over to the parking lot carnival. There are police, men wearing hard-hats dismantling the rides and carts as well as big trucks all over the place. The kids are now in a full frenzy, frothing at their mouths and wanting their carnival! I lean over and whisper to my wife “They are shut-down; those men are taking it apart”. Her response was “They are just fixing stuff. Go ask them what time they open”.  What? Did I hear that right? Well yes I did! Being the obedient husband that I am, I go and ask a worker. He responded exactly the way that I thought he would: “The police shut it down because there was a shooting here last night”. Ok well there you go! As you can imagine, I was dreading the kid’s reaction and it was every bit as bad as you would think. They screamed, cried, groaned, whined and everything else.

I drive away not knowing what we are going to do because they talked about it all week as it was supposed to be a part of my daughter’s birthday celebration. We drive with no destination, trying to figure out what we are going to do while the kids all cry and scream. In my infinite wisdom, I suggest that we go for some ice cream. My wife doesn’t think it is a good idea so we aimlessly drive some more. After about 15 minutes or so, I just turned around and asked the kids if they wanted ice cream and they said yes! That’s right…..Dad to the rescue! We go to the local spot and enjoy some ice cream.

The Birthday Girl!

Now with order restored, we can home to get ready for the party. It wasn’t a big affair, just my immediate family and hers. We had a nice time and we had the first visit of our 4 month old nephew. The kids were so happy to see him.  Jordan got a ton of presents and ate a lot of candy! It was a long day and tough day but it ended on a high note.

Sunday was just as busy. I woke up with the kids, cooked breakfast so the kids can serve Mommy in bed. I made French Toast and the kids made a fruit salad containing grapes, whole apples and a banana. It was really nice. After the breakfast in bed was served, my wife said she wanted to take the kids to an indoor amusement center. I went online and found 2 within a 30 minute drive.  We choose one and left. The entire ride consisted of the wife getting the kids fired up as she felt bad for the “shoot em up carnival”. As we pull into the lot I point out that it was empty. We thought that was great because we would basically have the place to ourselves. The wife and kids get out of the van so fast and make a bee-line for the door. As I walk up, I see the family standing in the entrance. As I walked to the door I see a sign: “FunPlex is closed for Mother’s Day”. Holy shit! Please tell me this is a joke. We break the news to the kids and what happens? Yes, more screaming and crying. We immediately tell them that we can try another place. We make the 20 minute trip for our next attempt. We pull in the lot and it is clearly open. We basically barged through the door and knocked down people to get in. We spent a couple of hours and had a blast. We played some arcade games together, the kids rode on the bumper cars and we went into a foam ball battlefield. It was a closed structure filled with foam balls and a lot of air-powered guns. It was a hit and the kids were happy.

When we got home, I made dinner while the wife and kids played outside. All in all, it was a good day but I hope next weekend is a little less traumatic!

Comments (3)

By Real Dad, April 25, 2010 11:16 pm

Yesterday was a big day for Nicky because he played in his first “real” soccer game. He did great! He scored 2 goals and was running up and down the field faster than most of the other kids, if not all of them. So I broke out my Flip HD Ultra and started shooting video. It’s a little shaky but as you will see, my daughter was running in circles and cheering right next to me.

Comments (10)

By Real Dad, December 15, 2009 11:02 pm

Last week my mother-in-law came over with a book for my kids. The book is called “The Elf on the Shelf”. Apparently this book was a big deal with my wife because she was all excited. I didn’t understand the hoopla and apparently this book is hard to get this time of year. So I sat down with my kids to listen to Uncle Mike read the story.

In a nutshell, the book tells the story of a magical elf that Santa allows to stay in your house. The kids are allowed to name it (ours is Nino) and then it has to be placed somewhere by an adult and adult only. This magical elf just sits there watching the kids every move during the day. At night when everyone is asleep, the elf flies back to Santa and gives him a report on how the kids behaved. The elf then returns to the

Nino wound up in our table top tree today

home, sets up shop in a different location and begins his day time vigil all over again. The story tells the kids that the magical elf is not to be touched by anyone, including parents as this will destroy the elf’s magical ability (smart way to go about it).

Side note: The elf is not real, it cannot fly, it does not report back to Santa and before we go to bed, Carrie moves the elf to its new location.  I just don’t want to get any of your hopes up, so I wanted to just clarify the facts because I almost believed the hype myself. I thought this was genius. I understand that this is not a new concept but to me it was because I never heard of it. I was so damn excited because I really thought to myself that this would give us a break from the normal craziness of our lovable children.

The kids were so excited they made Uncle Chris read the book to them as well. After that, they each took turns looking at the book and we then placed Nino on the one piece of furniture in our dining room, the out of place bookshelf. There he sat with a dopey look on his face, watching my kids and they were certainly on their best behavior. I was so happy and I thought that this may actually work. Nicky was outstanding and kept saying to Jordan and Corey “Nino is watching”. It was great! Corey didn’t get it, as he is only 3 years old but every time he acted up both Jordan and Nicky would say “Nino is watching”. Wondeful! The kids all went to bed without a hitch and the next morning they were all ecstatic about finding where Nino settled for the day. They found him hanging on a curtain rod.  I was really impressed with the results. It was amazing.

After a few days of great behavior, Saturday we began to see some of Jordan’s typical behavior.  Carrie and I would just remind her that The Elf on the Shelf, Nino, is watching and she would immediately snap out of it. Now she isn’t a bad kid by any means but she is stubborn, defiant and just plain old tough…..oh and bossy too. Anyway, while Jordan and Nicky were in the kitchen,

It's Christmas time so I threw this in..the kids decorated it tonight

things got quiet…..to quiet. I hear Jordan whisper “Nino can’t see me in here”.  That is when my hopes were smashed!  I knew that this Nino character wouldn’t mean anything to her and I was right! The last few days have been tough as Jordan pays no attention to the fact that Nino is somewhere in the house.  I told Jordan a story of a cousin of mine. When my cousin was a little girl, maybe 6 or so, she awoke on Christmas morning to find coal in her stocking. Apparently Santa didn’t think her behavior was worthy of receiving presents on Christmas so he filled her stocking with coal (true story…hahahaha my Aunt is a pisser….I know I know what a horrible thing to do to a young child but I still cannot help myself and I laugh whenever I hear that story. Just to calm you down, I will tell you that my cousin ran up the stairs to her room and threw the coal out of her window. When my Aunt and Uncle were able to get her out of her room, she went down stairs to a tree surrounded by lots of presents! So it did turn out to be a merry Christmas for her). Do you think this story had any effect on my daughter even after I reminded her that Nino tells Santa everyday how she behaved? Well let me answer that for you…..IT DIDN’T! Nino has certainly made a positive impact with Nicky and Corey so not all is lost. I just had so much hope that Nino would be my savior, the answer to my prayers. I am mildly disappointed.

I still think the concept is great! So if anyone gets this book, or already has it, please let me know how it works for you. Just don’t rub it in if it works that well for you.

Comments (6)

By Real Dad, September 8, 2009 10:29 pm

The Face on an Angel but the Mind of...something else!

Jordan-Rose (Jordy) just turned four in May and it has been both GREAT and well….NOT SO GREAT. From the time she was born she was certainly a handful. Soon after birth she was diagnosed with “Acid Reflux”, lucky us. I quickly learned that “Acid Reflux” was a synonym for many words, including pain in the ass! Formula after formula after formula before we found one that she could keep down. In between the crying fits she was a great baby. She laughed, played and giggled a heck of a lot. As Jordy got a little older, Carrie began to become concerned with her lack of sounds and then speech and that is where the difficulties kicked into high gear. I of course was telling my wife that she is over-reacting and that my daughter was fine. You see, Fatherhood began wonderfully with Nicky, so I figured things would turn around with Jordy. WRONG!

Our pediatrician recommended an “Early Intervention” evaluation. After a few home visits by the county specialists, she was diagnosed with Apraxia of Speech or Speech Apraxia (depending on your therapist, doctor or reference material). Basically what this means is this: she has a disorder but they really do not know what causes it, why it happens or what to call it and so on but she was not able to formulate simple sentences although she could say each word individually. We immediately began speech therapy through Early Intervention and they soon realized that she may benefit from some sensory therapy and recommended another evaluation for her sensory issues. She was then diagnosed with Sensory Integration Disorder (she had problems with loud noises, touching of her face or hair and any other type of contact such as snug clothing). We began taking her to a Neurologist in addition to the multiple therapists coming to our home.

After one year of therapy, Early Intervention stopped. Here in NJ they only provide services until the age of three. We had to begin looking for another avenue of therapy that we could afford. We found it at a local college. They have a program in which students work with children as the professor oversees the session. We paid $500 for one month of speech therapy (4 sessions) but it didn’t work out. Jordy was misbehaving so much during the sessions that they were never able to focus on the speech however we noticed that her speech was greatly improved, go figure. We now had to begin the process of having Jordan-Rose qualify for Special Services through our town’s Board of Education. All of those that have gone through this then you understand and those that have not had this experience, I hope you never do. It is a painfully agonizing ordeal. At least in our experience, the way the town handles the parents is a disgrace. The social worker we had was rude, unprofessional and not sympathetic to us at all. The BOE had evaluated our daughter themselves and found no such disorders, as previously diagnosed by several other doctors and therapists. They denied our request for Special Services so we hired a really expensive attorney that specializes in this field. She required a $6000.00 retainer and we paid it without hesitation because this is our daughter. That is when I realized that Fatherhood is the most expensive endeavor I have ever embarked upon

My Jordy!

.

During this ordeal we began to see unbelievable improvements in Jordy’s speech and sensory development, keep in mind that she did not receive therapy for some time but Carrie was working with her everyday. After many heated debates and calm discussions at times, we decided to have Jordy re-evaluated by doctors and therapists at a children’s hospital that has an entire department devoted to children with special needs. In a nutshell, we were told that they did not believe that Apraxia of Speech or Sensory Intergration was an issue. They felt that she was just a “difficult” child…at times. Now Carrie and I have matching spinning heads!! What the hell do we do? We sat back and thought about this, meanwhile our attorney is butting heads with the school on our behalf. We fought the school for a re-evaluation and they denied it. After more legal battling, our attorney was able to get the BOE’s attorney to grant us our request for re-evaluation. They recommended a Neurologist that is supposed to be the best in this part of the state. Our attorney researched this claim and found that this doctor was very highly recommended across the board.  His evaluation was right in line with the children’s hospital, no diagnosis of any disorder. AAAUUUGHHH!

So now we pull the plug with the attorney and receive the remainder of our retainer. We hired a therapist to come to our home and help, not only Jordy but us in dealing with Jordy as well. This continued for several months until we could no longer afford that! So now we are at a point were Jordy has to be enrolled in Pre-K classes. We skipped the 3-year old session and waited for the 4-year old session which she begins next week. Thankfully the teacher and her aide are familiar with my daughter and all of our concerns. She was Nicky’s Pre-K teacher and had many interactions with Jordan, even allowing Jordan to participate in a morning and afternoon class. She assures my wife that things will not be as difficult as we imagine.

Jordan is an remarkably sweet girl with a massive stubborn streak. She can be completely loving  one moment to all of us and then the next moment punching her brother in the back. Tonight I witnessed her having a stare down with my wife. Jordan walked around the kitchen table hitting everyone because we were all talking. When Carrie raised her voice at Jordan asking her to stop, Jordan lowered her eye brows and just stared at her. Carrie starred back, not wanting to break and let Jordy win. After several quiet and tense moments, Carrie broke and yelled at Jordan to leave the kitchen but not before she was to apologize to everyone there. Jordan apologized and stormed out. She later returned to tell Carrie that she is the best Mommy! WOW….I will refrain from my next comment.

We are eager for her to begin school, on many levels. She can use the structure and social interaction (interaction not including her 2 brothers). We learned a lot through this ordeal and respect every parent that has a child with special needs. It is not an easy road but we can say that we are satisfied with the latest diagnoses but how do you really know which is correct when multiple professionals tell you two different things? I guess it comes down to knowing your child. Stick with you gut feeling and if you are not getting what you think your child deserves, keep fighting!  Fatherhood, Motherhood and Parenthood is not about us as fathers or mothers, it is about the children we choose to create.

Do you have a similar story? If you do and would like to share, please do so. Maybe we can all help other parents going through similar situations.